Which leads to the second problem for men, he said—they get caught in the “friend zone.”

 

“They think that ‘If I’m nice to her, if I don’t’ show any sexual interest, if I help her move and do nice things for her, she’s going to wake up and tally all my good deeds.’ No,” he said. “When (a woman is) attracted to a man, it’s not a choice, it’s an instinct. She knew a long time ago if she was or if she wasn’t into you.”

 

And if she was, that was the time to strike, he said.

 

“Men get into a mode where they try to seek her approval and they make it very easy for her. And when a woman thinks, ‘I can have this guy anytime I want,’ there’s no challenge, there’s no mystery, there’s no reason to be with this guy because they can cash that check anytime they want,” he said. “How many times have you seen beautiful top-shelf women with douchebags? She can’t get enough of that guy. I’m not saying you have to be an asshole, I’m just saying you have to value yourself and your money to show women you have your own life. If you’re more into it than she is, she’s not going to be there.”

 

Dallas said he learned his particular brand of advice the hard way.

 

“I had no clue what I was doing,” said Dallas. “I can tell you more what not to do than what to do because I have done it wrong so many times. I would end up with women I was so attracted to and get a peck on the cheek.”

 

Fed up with fumbling in the friend zone, Dallas said he started to place bets on himself, making investments in his own life—and that’s when things started to turn around in his dating life.

 

“Once I got myself together, I didn’t have to try,” he said. “Women came to me.”

 

First, Dallas got off his drug of choice—alcohol.

 

“I’m your garden-variety alcoholic,” he said. “I had a really bad allergic reaction to it—I would break out in handcuffs, divorces and fights.”

 

Then he switched over to sobriety.

 

“I got sober and started a band with some other sober guys called The Favors,” he said. “At the peak of our powers, we did a CD release party with 1,700 people. But we were all starting to feel the pull of domestic life and the ravages of time and age. I spent 10 years in the back of a van traveling around the Midwest—just the typical circuit. But as you get older, you’re like ‘Guess what? We’re not going to be famous and my back hurts from sleeping on the floor.’”

 

He said The Favors was designed to be a chick-magnet band—which, he said, it was. It was during this time that Dallas said he started honing his dating skills.

 

“I got into shape and started to get my life and my lifestyle together and it helped with the band thing because we were able to concentrate on the music,” he said. “We eliminated the drugs and there was more time for sex and rock ‘n’ roll.”

 

He got especially good at hitting up chicks on MySpace.

 

“I used MySpace as a female locator. It’s right there—you can search by their relationship status, age, height, weight, proximity to my ZIP code. I would say, ‘Let’s meet for coffee,’ which gives them a chance to meet you and make sure the picture isn’t from 10 years ago,” he said. “Most guys make some big mistakes and they start trying to talk to women about sex online. But MySpace isn’t the real world and you need to get people into the real world.”

 

He got so good at it, in fact, that he wrote an e-book guide for men on the etiquette of picking up women on MySpace. His testimonial? It’s how he met his wife.

 

“This website was actually my wife’s idea,” said Dallas. “I was helping guys all the time. They were texting me all the time. And she was like, ‘You really need to stop giving this away.’”

 

Dallas, despite his ornery advice, said the reason for the website is so men can find the happily-ever-after moral to the story.

 

“My wife, she is gorgeous, but she is also one of the smartest women I’ve ever met and she’s emotionally available and she’s very creative and she’s very driven and when you find a woman like that, that’s when you say, ‘Yeah I don’t want to let this go,’” he said. “There’s a very exciting dichotomy inside men, where there’s this instinct to mate with as many women as possible, but there’s also a desire to find that one perfect women. And the more people you date, the more you find what you want. And you’re not going to find that perfect woman unless you know how to approach women.”

 

Underneath the superficial qualities of the Modern Male website may lie a cavemen who’s got a little more grit to his attitude than meets the eye.

 

“It would be a great thing if we could cut through all the bullshit and just be ourselves and attract quality mates,” he said. “And really, that lies in how you walk, how you speak, how you command a room. The basic principle is concentrate on yourself. Quality attracts quality people. If you don’t respect yourself, no one else will.”  (end article)